Sunday, September 28, 2008

Just for Pretty:

This is a tree in our yard. I have wanted to get out and take more foliage pics, but I'm just feeling so out of sorts and very tired. I hope this is over with soon whatever it is.

Unrelated, I have been making our own yogurt again, and now that I have gotten used to the process it's going smoothly. I find that adding a few tbsp. of dry milk to the fresh does help thicken it up, and it's delicious. It doesn't last very long, but is cheaper than store bought.

I did a photo shoot the other day which went pretty well. I have had access to my business associate's D90 which is very nice indeed. I love my D40, but I need more lenses, and am NOT in love with the idea of buying the specialized CPU type needed for it. I may need to make the switch to another camera body one day. You know, if the house ever sells, and I can earn more than I owe again.

We have been using all the jars of beans and grains in our pantry in combination with bits and pieces of fresh stuff from the last few farmer's markets of the season. I can make really good soup out of almost anything, and it's nice to have this time of year.

I have been thinking a lot about patience lately. I think I have a good deal of it at this point in my life. I think I have had to. I am working on gratitude, and the maintenance of hope. These things are tough right now. I lose hope after long stretches of having to be so patient, and it seems the two go hand in hand for me. Patience turns into a sort grim acceptance of my situation. None of this is helped by the fact that I don't feel well, and that I can't seem to make it through the afternoon without a nap. I cannot afford to take a nap every day. I don't know any mother who can. I am also lonely, and at the same time I avoid my friends when I don't feel like I have the energy to be positive or giving. I'm sure I'm not alone in this.


jill said...

i hope you feel better soon Paula. I often feel like this at this time of the year, something about the season changing, compounded with stress, makes me so fatigued ALL THE TIME. Its worth getting checked out though, if it persists. And if you can sneak a nap in, don't beat yourself up over it. Moms need naps more than anyone! Naps are like heaven.

Paula said...

As usual, Jill you know just what to say. Thank you.