I continue to expand in all directions. I just don't remember being this hungry with Ray -actually, I don't remember being this hungry before ever. Whatever, I've gotta eat, so I'm ingnoring the TWENTY pounds I've gained already.
I have made some pretty important decisions regarding the birth, and I feel really good about them. Although they are based on the limitations of my geographical area, they don't feel very much like compromises. I've been spending what little free time I have doing some much needed personal and spiritual work. I didn't do any of this last time, and I feel like I paid for it. So now I'm really examining what happened with Ray's birth, and what about me I can change to have things be completely different this time. It's not that I have terrible associations with giving birth to her, it's just that the whole hospital scene made me so uncomfortable, and I think it slowed things up a lot. This feels good. I'm finally allowing myself to explore the primal and maternal side of my life without apology. I'm doing what I need to do for myself and the baby, and no one can stop me. How liberating.