I have created yogurt:

Here is how I did it:

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Yogurt

It was not too hard, though I think I worried about it too much as I always do, and eventually strained it through a cloth to thicken it a bit. Boy is it good. It's from cream-top milk, and is flavored with vanilla, and sweetened with sucanat. It tastes every bit as good as what I usually buy for Ray to eat with her breakfast. I would like a less expensive source for organic milk, though, as this did not save me any money. I initially wanted to try this as an alternative to buying yogurt in non-recyclable plastic containers. I still don't know why those containers have to be made out of type 5 plastic, but I'm sure there's a reason. Now if I could just find milk that comes in glass I'd be all set.

The process was a little weird for me, as I am not a milk drinker, and haven't had it (by itself) in years. I do eat yogurt and cheese (no rennet, though), and will have milk in coffee or as a hidden ingredient. The straining part was a little gross. All the whey that collected in my bowl should by all rights have been saved for baking or something due to it's nutritional value, but as I looked at it all I could think of was "foremilk". It was like the cow equivalent of those first few squirts that your baby gets. I'm not grossed-out by my own milk, or anything, but my daughter was a HUGE spitter-upper, and I still can't associate a lot of milky things with my own food. The sight and smell of ravioloi cheese is a major turn-off. Yucky. So, yeah, the whey went down the drain.

Next time I will try to figure out how to get the batch to thicken better. I did everything I could think of, but still had to strain, and only got half a quart in the end. Not cost effective. Any tips?

Easter Weekend:

We made the trip to New Jersey to see the families, and I think this photo sort of sums up the holiday vibe now that my mother-in-law is gone. Things just aren't the same, and never will be.




Anyway, you have to press on for the kids, right? So we did. We had some fun, and some naps, and some fever...Ray and I have been sick for over two weeks now.



We had some breakfast with cousin Super Man.

...and some nice time with Mommy.

Awwww...little girls

So cute. The doll was her Christmas present from Mommy and Daddy, and the cradle is her (early -I couldn't help myself, and besides, she doesn't know the difference. She's a baby) birthday present from Mommy. I made the little mattress today out of a thrifted table cloth and some batting, and the blanket is a crochet place mat also from the thrift store. She loves that doll, and the cradle (eBay) was a hit. We talk about putting her baby to bed, and saying: "Goodnight, Baby. Mama loves you. Here's your blankie...night-night." -And she sits there and rocks the cradle. She also kisses the baby. It's so sweet I can't stand it.

Yummm...

Beans rinsing, muffins cooling, and bread dough resting. I have been using this nice prepackaged Bob's Red Mill bean mixture to make a thick soup with curry spices and some amaranth thrown in. I top it with raisins, raw pumpkin seeds, and sunflower seeds. SO GOOD. The muffins are whole wheat, bran, raisins, and coconut sweetened with sucanat. The bread is a whole wheat "kneadless" variety which has to rest for at least 8 hours. The recipe is from Mother Earth News/New York Times. Apparently time does the work that kneading would otherwise. I have had ZERO luck with baking bread in the past. I am an anxious sort of person who over-kneads, and ends up with a nice whole wheat doorstop. Maybe not this time -we'll see.

This week has been pretty good. The baby has a cold. It's warmer, and meltier around here which is encouraging. Right now, though, it's flurrying as I watch huge, fat adirondack crows pick at my frozen compost heap. It's really just a big pile of kitchen veggie scraps, because I rarely remember to turn it. A neat thing happened when I dug some soil out of it in the fall for a baby spider plant I had going. A tomato plant sprang right up out of nowhere -it's a foot tall now. That soil is always full of worms too, so it must be pretty good though perhaps neglected.

I am enjoying the time I now have for such things. They are most agreeable pursuits, and the stuff of life -as I see it.

I was trying to...

...take some decent photos of what I think is one of the cutest things I have ever knitted for Ray. She is, however, a moving target these days:





I LOVE that little jumper. Here is the pattern: http://www.carodanfarm.com/shopsite_sc/store/html/product3836.html

I knitted this while I was pregnant, and still had time for anything ever. Now I want to make another one while she is still little enough to fit it, but I don't know if that will happen. I am working on another pair of socks, and that's likely to take until it's too warm to wear them this year anyway. Whatever, I guess.


These days:

I'm real busy with the cleaning business. I clean most days all day, and it is very tiring. I am skinny, with dry hands, an aching back, and chapped lips. I really love being my own boss, though, and there are trade-offs in life for sure. Right now I would rather scrub a million toilets than have to work in an office again. I hated sitting all day. I love being with Rayona. I love that she is solely in my care right now with the exception of the help I get from my husband. For some reason this makes me feel like a more complete mother for her than I did when I left her with someone else during the day. That never worked well for me. Some women can do it, but I never liked it a bit. I hated the feeling that I had this beautiful child just to pay someone else to be with her. This is how I grew up, and I was sad. I in no way take issue with other women's choices for career and/or childcare, but I can only make decisions based on my own experiences. I resented my mother a lot for not being willing to put her career on hold to be with me more. I understand where she was coming from, and how hard her generation had to work to even exist in the workforce, but I was a pissed-off kid. I wanted her there. I was jealous of my peers whose mothers stayed home or worked part time. I was treated badly by care givers.


Anyway, having said all that, it is also really REALLY difficult to scrub my fingers to the bone, and break my back lugging my gear around all day (in the unrelenting snow and ice) with a baby in tow. Unbearably so some days. Some days the apparent impossibility of completing my work by the time the guests check in to their rentals comes crashing down on me. I always seem to make it work, but nursing breaks, naps, snacks, tantrums, teething, and whining, and crying, and screaming can make me feel so hopeless. It can be hard to maintain a healthy outlook. Then I remember the alternative, and just how awful my old job could make me feel sometimes. I mean, like feel awful about myself and my whole situation. So this is better. Just 100 times as hard in different ways. I know I'm doing the right thing. I need to be home with my girl. I could never go back at this point. Most days I'm extremely happy as I drive past my old office on the way to a cleaning job with a schedule that I'VE set for myself. The money is there, but it is not as there as it was before.

The solution:



We really ate like this anyway, being that we are whole-foods-type vegetarians, but now we have to be really serious about the budgeting and rationing. It's ok, we still have abundance when compaired with most of the world. We are lucky to have these jars of beans and grains.

So ultimately I feel I've made the right decision. I couldn't stay where I was, or do what I was doing any longer. So I took the only other skills that I already had, and put them to work. I want to have more children, and I want to take care of them myself. I am SO much stronger than before I had a child. My tolerance for pain, and fear, and fatigue is way higher than ever before. I finally feel good about myself. So that's something.

Look how cute:

Update:

I knitted a pair of socks. This is not the only thing I have worked on lately, but the only thing I could be bothered to photograph:


Lots of stuff has changed since my last post. For example, I have quit my job which was making me very unhappy in favor of parenting my daughter full time and starting a natural cleaning business:


Money sucks so far, but I expected that, and business is beginning to pick up, so it's only temporary. I love the work, and I love being with my girl, so I'm willing to make some lifestyle trade-offs. I feel much better than when I was working for someone else. Losing my mother-in-law so suddenly made me certain that there was zero point in wasting my time with a job that wasn't working for me. This was a scary departure, but so far very worth it.

Here is a Rayona Update:

We have 6 teeth, crawling, standing, waving "Bye-Bye", and saying "Ma-ma", and "Ca" when she sees the cat. She will hug and kiss us and her baby doll when asked to as well. So cute. She is still a bit undersized, but mighty all the same.