Thursday, November 19, 2009

Around here:

Not too much to report. Things are good. "Brother " is three months old (and one week) -that's what he gets called most of the time -Brother. I wonder how long that will stick. He is smiling and cooing, and all that wonderful stuff that he's supposed to be doing at this age. All good.

Ray is also doing all that she is supposed to be doing at two years and seven months old.

-am I doing all that I'm supposed to be doing at thirty-four years old? Good question. Some days I feel like I'm supposed to be maintaining some sort of marketable skills for when my kids are old enough for me to be going back to work. I feel scared -like each day that I do only "mommy" things is getting me further from ever being able to earn a living again. -But this is all I can manage right now.

I knit obsessively. It's really the only thing I have going besides childcare, and it really helps me. It sure doesn't make me any money, though. I have so many projects going right now, and such a queue going in my head that I feel like I may never catch up by Christmas. I like it, though.

I have begun taking walks alone on the mornings that Josh leaves for work at 11:00. This also helps. I like heading out when everything is still a bit frozen, and there are sometimes snowflakes. On the way home the road is wet, and the eaves are all dripping. I bring a mug of coffee with me, or stop for a fill-up in town. I can stop in to visit all my favorite shopkeepers who always exclaim how strange it is to see me without my babies. Everyone says: "Good for you!" when I come in alone. I cherish these walks, and I think I will try to keep going until the weather insists that I quit. Walking has been a very healthy thing for me in recent years. Mostly I like to follow my town up the mountain and hang around the oldest and most interesting houses -many of which are in various states of decay. I love old houses, and some that we have here are built in impossibly steep locations.

Well, enough. My thoughts tend to drift these days.


Julia said...

I call the "time off from work" at home raising kids mombattical. It's not a vacation. But it's not the same as a sabbatical. It's a time of intense learning of new skills. Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Conner took a five year hiatus from her career to raise her kids. It seems to have worked for her. You're already doing a lot with two kids--one being a three month old. That's all you need to do right now. The time will come for more. And you will recognize it. Enjoy your morning walks.

Paula said...

Thank you so much for your kind words. They really help.

mother of squirrel said...

my friends son has called her sister "my sister" ever since she was born and now she is 4 years old.
He NEVER calls her by her first name-NEVER-just "my sister"...
we laugh at him all the time-so cute!!!