Ray is also doing all that she is supposed to be doing at two years and seven months old.
-am I doing all that I'm supposed to be doing at thirty-four years old? Good question. Some days I feel like I'm supposed to be maintaining some sort of marketable skills for when my kids are old enough for me to be going back to work. I feel scared -like each day that I do only "mommy" things is getting me further from ever being able to earn a living again. -But this is all I can manage right now.
I knit obsessively. It's really the only thing I have going besides childcare, and it really helps me. It sure doesn't make me any money, though. I have so many projects going right now, and such a queue going in my head that I feel like I may never catch up by Christmas. I like it, though.
I have begun taking walks alone on the mornings that Josh leaves for work at 11:00. This also helps. I like heading out when everything is still a bit frozen, and there are sometimes snowflakes. On the way home the road is wet, and the eaves are all dripping. I bring a mug of coffee with me, or stop for a fill-up in town. I can stop in to visit all my favorite shopkeepers who always exclaim how strange it is to see me without my babies. Everyone says: "Good for you!" when I come in alone. I cherish these walks, and I think I will try to keep going until the weather insists that I quit. Walking has been a very healthy thing for me in recent years. Mostly I like to follow my town up the mountain and hang around the oldest and most interesting houses -many of which are in various states of decay. I love old houses, and some that we have here are built in impossibly steep locations.
Well, enough. My thoughts tend to drift these days.
